Resturant Chaos
by Catbeast Aisha
Summary: A mega crossover anime that has several hungry anime characters going to a resturant to chow down with some very interesting results.


Acknowledgements: None of the characters save for Tracy and the chief are mine. The others all belong to whoever created them and I would take the time to give credit to each creator but that would take way too long. As for the figure… you have to wait till the end to see about him.  
  
(In a void of darkness a cloaked figure stands.)  
Figure: Welcome to the void, an emptiness that ought to be filled. Of what is the question. What do you say? Shall I fill the void with a story then? How about an anime tale, yes? Pokemon then? Joking friends! Please don't leave yet. How about a story of what happens in a normal restaurant, in a normal town, with some…unusual customers. It happens to be the first day that the restaurant has been open and, well, let's just say that perhaps Friday the 13th isn't the best day to open a restaurant. (The figure waves its hand and an image appears. It is the inside of a restaurant where many people are busy rushing about, placing silverware, napkins, and such.)  
Figure (pointing at the image of a nice looking, brown haired woman): This is Tracey, the owner of the restaurant. She's very nice…unless you get on her bad side. (figure shudders) Anyway, without further interruptions (at least on my part)…  
  
At the restaurant…  
Tracey: All right everyone, this is the day we've waited for. We probably won't get many customers today but (she pauses a moment before sighing), well, do your best.  
Man examining tables: Don't worry Tracey. Everything will be fine.  
Tracey: Let's hope. (Sighs again and begins double checking everything) (The bell on the entrance door rings and Tracey turns towards the door. Ranma and his father, Genma, enter and glance around.)  
Tracey: Welcome to my restaurant. Just two?  
Ranma: Let's hope.  
Tracey: Would you like a booth or a table?  
Genma: A booth please.  
Tracey: Right this way.  
(Tracey leads them to a nice booth. The two guys sit down and Tracey hands them a menu.)  
Tracey: We have a special today since it's our grand opening. All you can eat for $10.00 each.  
Ranma (to Genma): What do you say Pop?  
Genma: It sounds good to me.  
Tracey: One of the waitresses will be right with you shortly to take your orders.  
Ranma: Thanks.  
(Tracey leaves and the two guys keep talking)  
Ranma: Good thing we left the house in time, I swear Akane's trying to kill us with that stuff she calls cooking (he shudders visibly)  
Genma: She's your fiancée Ranma. You should teach her how to cook!  
Ranma: You should've checked to see if she could before engaging me like that! (The waitress shows up and they stop bickering. Image leaves them to show Tracey, Goku, Goten, and Gohan talking.)  
Tracey: So you want a table for three.  
Goku: Yes that'll be fine.  
Goten: Dad, can we eat now? I'm really, really hungry!  
Gohan: Goten, be patient. We'll be eating soon enough.  
Goku: Actually, I'm pretty hungry too.  
Gohan (while laughing): I know, I know.  
Goten: I'm gonna have pancakes, eggs, bacon-(Gohan interrupts)  
Gohan: Wait till we get to the table Goten!  
Tracey (signals for a waiter who comes over): He'll take your orders and take you to your table.  
Goku: Thanks! I can't wait to eat! (Waiter leads the three off. Tracey is greeting some more customers; Tenchi, Ryoko, Ayeka, Sasami, and Washu)  
Ryoko: Tenchi, thanks for taking me out to breakfast.(she hangs around his neck)  
Ayeka: Ryoko! You should not behave this way in public! Besides, Lord Tenchi brought us, not just you!  
Ryoko (snidely): Sounds like Ayeka is jealous.  
Ayeka (gets angry): I am not!  
Tracey (trying to break it up): How many are eating?  
Tenchi: Five please. (A small meow is heard)  
Tracey (looking around): Do you have a cat?  
Washu: No, only Ryo-oki.  
Tracey: Ryo-oki?  
Sasami (holds up a small half cat/rabbit creature): See.  
Tracey (smiling at the girl): What a cute toy. (Motions to a waitress; to waitress) Take this group to a table for five please. (Waitress ushers the group to their table and Tracey sits down to relax. A loud crash is heard and she rushes into the kitchen. There are stoves, sinks, and everything else a kitchen could need. A huge mess of pots and pans are lying on the floor by a counter where Tracey is examining them. She seems to have a headache as two waitresses, Kiyone and Mihoshi, are apologizing.)  
Mihoshi (wailing): I'm sooo sorry!! I didn't mean too! (begins crying a lot)  
Tracey (in a soothing voice): Don't worry Mihoshi. There's not much damage, whatever fell was just pots and pans.  
Kiyone: I should've been watching her better. Please forgive me.  
Tracey (sighing): Don't worry Kiyone, it's not your fault.  
Kiyone: I'll try to calm down Mihoshi.  
Tracey (looking relieved): Thank you. (Tracey begins cleaning up the mess and the two join her after Mihoshi had calmed down. Ranma and his father are busy eating while waiters and waitresses stare at them. Both are using chopsticks to fight over food and grab things from the others plates. They move so quick that it is hard for anyone to see their movement. Meanwhile, Tenchi and comps table is undergoing a small crisis.)  
Ryoko (all to sweet): Tenchi, lets split a meal together, just like a real couple.  
Tenchi (looks panicky): Ryoko, we aren't a couple!  
Ryoko (pouts):You don't like me?  
Ayeka (uses the back of her hand to cover her mouth while she laughs loudly): How could he like a mummy like you, Ryoko?  
Ryoko (growling): Least I'm not a stuck up, snobby princess.  
Tenchi (tries desperately to calm the two ladies down): Please you two!  
(Neither women pay attention as they rise from their seats and glare angrily at each other. The tension goes on for a while until both begin to laugh and sit back down)  
Sasami (to Ryo-oki): I don't understand those two.  
Ryo-oki (hops on Sasami's head):Meeeow!  
(Now it's back to Tracey who is once more greeting customers. This time it is Vegita, Bulma, and Trunks.)  
Vegita (fuming): Why on earth did you wake me at this ungodly hour?!  
Bulma (equally mad): Because you need to spend time with your family and I'm sick of cooking for you! Honestly, you Saiyans should cook all of the food you eat so you can see what a pain it is! (Vegita remains silent but is still angry. Trunks says nothing but looks around with mild interest.)  
Tracey: Table for three?  
Bulma: Yes please. (Tracey spots Kiyone and asks her to take them to a table and all is well until they reach the table with Gohan, Goten, and their dad.)  
Vegita (to Goku; smirking): So Kakorot, what brings you here?  
Goku: They have an all you can eat special for $10.00 each!  
Bulma (chuckling): You three alone will clean this place out of food.  
Trunks (acts calmly although he looks excited): Hey Goten.  
Goten (acts really excited): Oh boy! I'm so glad you're here!  
Trunks: Same here. What'd you order?  
Goten (happily): We ordered everything on the menu.  
Trunks (frowning): That's not a lot.  
Goten: Yup! That's why we ordered 6 of 'em. You wanna eat with us? (Trunks looks up at his mom and she agrees)  
Goten: Yeah!! (Vegita is still angry but sits at the table. Bulma pulls up a chair and sits as well. Goten and Trunks are talking to each other while Bulma and Gohan have a conversation. Vegita is staring angrily at Goku who is anxiously awaiting his food. Kiyone leaves as soon as everyone is settled.)  
Ryoko: Yoo-hoo! Waiter! We'd like to order! (Kiyone rushes over to Tenchi and comps table and is surprised to see her friends)  
Tenchi: Hi Kiyone. I didn't know you worked here.  
Kiyone (looks depressed): Mihoshi and I have to in order to pay for our apartment. (perks up) It's fairly easy though and Mihoshi hasn't been too much of a problem.  
Ryoko (impatiently): That's nice but let's order. I'm hungry!  
  
(While they order, Genma and Ranma are seen having just finished their meal at this time.)  
Genma: What a great meal! We'll have to eat here more often.  
Ranma (nodding): Why don't you pay now so we can leave?  
(There is a long pause and Genma finds the wall very interesting)  
Ranma: Don't tell me you didn't bring money to pay!  
Genma: All right, I won't. (Genma prepares to run off but Ranma grabs him by the collar)  
Ranma: Oh no you don't! You aren't letting me take the fall for this one!(Ranma drags Genma along) Let's go find the manager. (Ranma and his dad go to find Tracey, who is greeting other customers. This time she is talking to the Outlaw Star crew)  
Gene: Nice place.  
Tracey: Thank you. Just you five, right?  
Gene: Yeah, just us.  
Aisha: I can't wait to dig in!  
Jim (whispering to Gene): How are we gonna pay for all this Gene? Aisha alone could cost us tons.  
Gene (whispers back): They have an all you can eat for $10.00 today.  
Tracey (signals Kiyone again): Kiyone will take you to your tables. (Kiyone passes Goku and comps table which is now pilled with food and all the guys, save for Vegita, seem to be drooling. Vegita seems to be in a better mood now though.)  
Gohan: Look at all this good food!  
Goten (excitedly): I can't wait to eat!  
Trunks (smiles a little): Hey Goten, I bet you two of my toys that I can eat more than you.  
Goten: All right! Let's go! (Both boys begin inhaling food as fast as they can. The servers watch as the food quickly disappears.)  
Goku: What'da you say Vegita?  
Vegita: I'll take you on any time. (Both join in the eating contest along with Gohan. Soon, all the plates are empty)  
Goku/Gohan/Goten/Trunks/Vegita (Vegita only says more) (to nearby waiter): MORE PLEASE!!  
(The shocked waiter begins cleaning the plates off and another nearby waiter runs off for more food. Bulma looks angry.)  
Bulma (yelling): Couldn't you have left me something to eat?! (Guys look sheepish except for Vegita)  
Goku: Oops. Sorry Bulma. (In the kitchen where the chef is talking to himself)  
Chef: How many people are here anyway?  
(Shuffles through some pots and pans)  
Chef: How much food do they think I can cook? (Waiter from Goku and comps table enters)  
Waiter: We need more food for table 4!  
Chef (looks surprised): WHAT?! I just sent the food out there!  
Waiter: They ate it all.  
Chef (in disbelief): That's not possible!  
Waiter: I know that and you know that but tell that to them! (Mihoshi enters the kitchen)  
Mihoshi: I finished peeling the potatoes.  
Chef: Good, we'll need them. (Kiyone enters from side with tables)  
Kiyone: Chef, your not going to believe how much the people that just came in ordered.  
(Kiyone shows the Chef the order pad and his eyes widen in disbelief)  
Chef: That's nearly as much as the other table! Get Tracey, there is no way I can cook all this food fast enough! (Kiyone rushes out of the kitchen door. Tracey, meanwhile, is in her office listening to Ranma's story)  
Tracey: So…you guys can't pay?  
Ranma (looks ashamed): Hai. (Tracey is thinking, arms crossed)  
Ranma: We'll work off the bill.  
Genma (muttering): Speak for yourself boy. (Ranma hits his father over the head)  
Tracey: Fine, you can be a waiter or clean dishes.  
Ranma (quickly): I'll waiter.  
Genma: I'll do the dishes then.  
(Ranma gives his father an odd look and is about to ask a question but Kiyone appears through the door and interrupts.)  
Kiyone: Tracey, the chef is having trouble. He can't cook all the food fast enough!  
Tracey: We only have a few customers!  
Kiyone: One table went through their food in less than five minutes and they ordered everything on the menu!  
Tracey (looks amazed): Really? (now looks sad) I am going to regret having that 'All you can eat' for $10.00. I'll call some of my friends and see if they'll help. Right now I'd better see if there is anything else he needs help with. (Kiyone and Tracey leave the office but Ranma and father stay there)  
Ranma: What's up with you wanting to work anyway?  
Genma: Doesn't matter now. (Tracey re-enters and grabs Genma's sleeve)  
Tracey: Come on, you can do the dishes now and leave when they are all done. (Ranma snickers and Tracey points back towards the door) You can get a waiters outfit and clear all the dirty dishes off the tables and help serve food. (Tracey then drags Genma off towards the kitchen. Tenchi and friends are now eating their food.)  
Ryoko: What great food!  
Tenchi: It's good but I like Sasami's better.  
Sasami (smiling): Thanks Tenchi.  
(Gene and comps table, beware the hungry lioness!)  
Aisha (roaring): Where's my food!  
Gene: Waitress! (Mihoshi wanders by)  
Mihoshi: Can I…uh…help you?  
Aisha (snarling): Yeah! Where's our food?  
(Kiyone rushes towards them)  
Kiyone: Mihoshi I thought I told you to stay in the kitchen!  
Mihoshi: But the chef told me to get out. (Kiyone pulls Mihoshi away while Aisha roars after them)  
Aisha: I still want my food! (Tracey is waiting at the front of the restaurant when the bell on the door chimes and Ukyo and Shampoo walk towards her)  
Shampoo: Nihao!  
Tracey: Hi Shampoo, Ukyo.  
Shampoo: Where kitchen?  
Ukyo: Let's get cooking.  
(Tracey leads them both to the kitchen. Both girls begin getting out pots and things to cook.)  
Tracey: Thanks for helping out.  
Shampoo: Shampoo help Tracey, Tracey Shampoo's friend.  
Ukyo: Same here. I'm happy to help.  
Tracey (smiles): Thanks (after a moment). Oh and please don't cause any property damage.  
Ukyo/Shampoo: Hai.  
(Tracey leaves the kitchen. Goku and company are waiting patiently…well, maybe patiently isn't the best word to use.)  
Vegita (angrily): Where's our food.  
(A loud rumbling is heard and everyone glances around but Goku. Goku is looking down at his stomach.)  
Goku: Boy am I hungry.  
Bulma (in disbelief): That came from you?! (Ranma stops by the table)  
Ranma: Your food will be here (Mihoshi appears with a large tray of food) now.  
Goten/Goku: All right! (Mihoshi stumbles all of a sudden and the food flies up in the air. Soup, salad, you name it is thrown. All the guys grab the plates in midair and quickly catch the food so that not a drop of soup or lettuce leaf is dropped. They moved so fast that it is nearly impossible to have kept up with their movements. They all place the food on the table)  
Mihoshi (scratches head with one hand): Oops, sorry.  
Goku (good naturedly): Don't worry about it. (To Vegita) Ready for round two?  
Vegita: Don't sit their yapping Kakorot. (Vegita digs in to which all the other guys follow his lead. Bulma is eating her food at a normal pace while Ranma is staring at the guys in amazement. He and his dad ate nothing in comparison to these guys.)  
Ranma (to Bulma): Do they always eat like this?  
Bulma: Yes.  
Ranma: They'd give my Pop a run for his money. I'll go get more food.  
Bulma: Thanks. (Ranma leaves to get more food while Mihoshi cheers them on. Gene and comps table is now being served.)  
Aisha: Yum! Look at the fish!  
Gene: Aisha, why did you order fish for breakfast?  
Aisha: Cuz it's good!  
Mel: Let her eat what she wants Gene.  
Gene (sighing): All right. (perks up as he takes a bite of his food) This is good! (Suzuka sips her tea with both hands while Aisha rips through her food. Jim and Gene are exchanging food and Mel is daintily eating)  
Aisha (after finishing): MORE FOOD!! (Kiyone comes by and takes Aisha's order. Gene and Jim order more as well. Kiyone goes into the kitchen where she gives the orders to Shampoo, Ukyo, and the chef.)  
Ukyo: These people eat more than Ranchan!  
Shampoo: Aiah! Shampoo think this lot of food.  
Chef (sighing): Let's keep at it. (Ranma enters)  
Ranma: Hey chef, you have some more ord- (Ranma stops dead at seeing Ukyo and Shampoo. Both girls turn and Ranma backs up slowly. Then Shampoo rushed at him and glomps him.)  
Ranma (in great surprise): What are you two doing here?  
Shampoo (still clinging): Shampoo and Spatula-girl help Tracey!  
Ranma (while trying to pry off Shampoo): How do you two know Tracey?  
Ukyo (while cooking): We restaurant owners like to get to know one another.  
Shampoo (still hanging on): Is good method! One need help, the others help!  
Ranma (finally prying off Shampoo): Okay, well here are the orders. (hands them the orders) I have to get the tables cleared. Be right back.  
(Ranma runs out as fast as he can while Ukyo and Shampoo glare at each other.)  
Ukyo: Whoever cooks the most food gets to go on a date with Ranchan. Deal?  
Shampoo: Deal! (The chef watches as the two girls double their efforts and speed. Soon a huge pile of food awaits waiters and waitresses to take to tables. Kiyone and Mihoshi enter and gap at all the food)  
Kiyone (bewildered): How…?  
Chef (shakes his head): Would you believe it's all over a guy?  
Kiyone (shrugging): At least it's productive. Ayeka and Ryoko usually level places to display their love. (Chef goes bug-eyed while Mihoshi glances at her watch and gets really excited)  
Mihoshi: Kiyone, my show is on!  
Kiyone: If it keeps you out of trouble go and watch it in Tracey's office. I don't think she'll mind just keep it down.  
Mihoshi (happily): Thank you Kiyone! (Mihoshi runs to the door just as Ranma enters with his hands stacked full of dirty dishes. Mihoshi runs right into him and the dishes go flying in the air while Mihoshi falls down. Ranma hastily begins grabbing the dishes and soon all of them are safely back in his hands or stacked on his head.)  
Mihoshi (stands up): Sorry.  
Ranma (face full of concentration): Don't worry about it.  
Mihoshi: Here, let me help yo- (Kiyone interrupts)  
Kiyone: Mihoshi, your show!  
Mihoshi (full of panic): Oh no!  
(Mihoshi rushes out of the kitchen and everyone breaths a sigh of relief.)  
Ranma: I think she's accident-prone.  
Kiyone: You have no idea.  
(Ranma carefully deposits dishes in the sink and glances around)  
Ranma: Anyone seen my Pop?  
Chef: Was it Coke or Pepsi?  
Ranma: Not that kind of pop! (A munching noise is heard and all those in the kitchen follow it to a large cupboard. Peering in, a large Panda is casually shoving food into its mouth)  
Ranma (angrily): DAD!  
(Panda holds up sign reading 'What?')  
Ranma: You're supposta be cleaning dishes! (Panda holds up another sign 'I got hungry')  
Shampoo: Shampoo know good recipe for Panda Pie. Shampoo try to make, yes?  
(Panda looks panicky and holds up sign 'OKAY! I'll clean!')  
Ranma (smiling): Remember, you can't leave until every dish is clean. (Panda snorts)  
Ukyo: Do you think Panda meat is good on Okonomiyakis? (Panda widens his eyes and flashes a sign reading 'You wouldn't!' Ranma, Ukyo, and Shampoo crowd around him looking menacingly. He flashes another sign 'Okay, I agree!')  
Ranma: And if one dish is left unclean-  
Shampoo: Shampoo get Panda Pie! (Panda climbs out of cupboard and walks over to the sink. Grumbling, he turns on the warm water and the Panda becomes Genma as soon as the water touches his fur. A thump is heard and the Ranma crew turn to see that the chef has fainted. Kiyone is trying to revive him.)  
Shampoo (to Kiyone): You no surprised?  
Kiyone (shrugs): Yeah, but I've seen odder.  
(Tracey enters through door)  
Tracey: Guys, we need more food!  
(Ukyo and Shampoo look surprised)  
Ukyo: We just sent out a large pile.  
Tracey: They ate it all!  
Ukyo: We better get cooking! (Tracey leaves the kitchen and she gives Tenchi's table their bill and leaves. Tenchi pulls out his wallet and looks embarrassed.)  
Tenchi (sheepishly to Washu): Washu, do you have any money I could borrow?  
Washu: Sorry Tenchi, as the world greatest scientific genius I don't use money. I create what I need. I could make some…  
Tenchi: That's counterfeiting!!  
Washu: It was only an idea.  
Ryoko: I'm broke but I could always steal some for you.  
Tenchi (surprised): Ryoko!  
Ayeka: Well what else do you expect from a space pirate?  
Ryoko (slyly): Oh? And how much do you have, Miss First Crown Princess of Juria?  
Ayeka (blushes red): None.  
Ryoko: I thought so.  
Sasami: Do you have enough money Tenchi?  
Tenchi: No, I guess I didn't expect the bill to be so high.  
Sasami: Wait here, I'll be right back. (Sasami leaves and heads towards the kitchen)  
Ryoko: Now where do you suppose she is going? (Back at Goku's table, all the guys are inhaling food and the dirty dishes are beginning to pile high once more. Ranma stops by and gets the dishes then returns quickly with more dishes full of food. Bulma is sitting and watching them eat)  
Ranma (to Bulma): How much can they eat? Do they have black holes for stomachs?  
Bulma: The answer to your second question is yes, they do. As for the first, this is normal for them but I'm betting they can keep it up till noon.  
(Ranma looks amazed and cleans off the dirty dishes, which have once more appeared on the table. He takes them into the kitchen where Ukyo, Shampoo, and the Chef are beginning to tire)  
Shampoo: Aiah! How much they eat?  
Ukyo: More than we can cook. (Kiyone enters)  
Kiyone: I have another order for you three.  
Chef: We need some more help. (Sasami enters)  
Sasami: Hi!  
Ukyo: What are you doing here Sugar?  
Sasami: I came to help cook so I could help pay for the bill.  
Ukyo: Aren't you a little young?  
Ranma: This from the girl who was cooking Okonomiyakis when she was five?  
Ukyo (smiles): Yeah, but this is different.  
Kiyone: I can vouch that she is an excellent cook. Give her a test run.  
Ranma: I get dibs testing it!  
Shampoo: Shampoo say good. We need help, we get help. Not good to look horse in mouth. (Gene and comps table, relaxing after the great meal)  
Gene: That was great. I can't possible eat another bite.  
Jim: The meal was much better than your cooking.  
Gene: HEY!  
Jim: Anyway, it's your turn to pay for dinner.  
Gene: Aww man! (pulls out some odd money) Does earth accept Wuu- long currency?  
Jim: I don't think so.  
Gene: Just great. (Sighs) Well, let's try anyway. (In the kitchen, Ranma is eating Sasami's dish)  
Shampoo: Is edible?  
Ukyo: You should ask a better question. Ranma can digest anything at all except for Akane's cooking.  
Ranma (with mouth full): It's really great Uuchan! (continues to eat) Hire her!  
Ukyo (to Sasami): All right, you can cook.  
Sasami (happily): Yeah! (gets started cooking more) (Tracey is seen once more leading some hungry customers to their table)  
Faye: Jett, next time pack more food.  
Jett: If I had the money I would. Maybe if you two could catch more outlaws.  
Spike: Sure, if you'd fly us to where all the big game is.  
Edward: Edward is hungry!  
Faye: We're all hungry Ed.  
(Ed moans and sits down at the table Tracey motions to. The others sit as well.)  
Jett (sighing): We'd better get her some food before she tries to eat-  
Spike (interrupts): the silverware?  
Jett: Yeah, how'd you- (breaks off when he sees Ed chewing on a spoon) ED! DON'T EAT THAT!!  
Edward (taking spoon out of her mouth): Ed want food.  
Spike: We're gonna get you some. Don't eat the silverware. (Ed moans again)  
Tracey (slightly unnerved): Uh, you can order the 'All you can eat' for only 10.00 each.  
Edward (perks up): All Ed can eat?  
Faye: When your starving anything sounds good.  
(Spike nods and while they look over the menu Mihoshi is busy in Tracey's office watching her show. She is so absorbed that she doesn't see Ein enter or notice him until he barks.)  
Mihoshi (turns at the dog before exclaiming in glee): PUPPY!!  
(Ein hops onto her lap and Mihoshi notices a collar.)  
Mihoshi: Your name is Ein? (Ein barks)  
Mihoshi: What an odd name, but you're such a cute dog. (While Mihoshi is petting Ein, Ranma is helping Kiyone take food to Goku and comps table)  
Kiyone: How long do you think they'll keep eating for?  
Ranma: Who knows? The waiters and waitresses are placing bets. They are also betting on who'll eat the most.  
Kiyone: Yeah, I know. I bet on the Goku guy.  
Ranma: Good luck. (They reach the table and set down the food. Everyone but Vegita thanks them and once more the guys dig in. Ranma and Kiyone remove the dirty dishes and carry them to the kitchen to Genma, who is washing them all.)  
Ranma (slaps his dad on the back): Keep it up Pop.  
Genma: Next time, you wash the dishes.  
Ranma (pointedly): You should've brought money. (Kiyone and Ranma stop and watch Shampoo, Ukyo, Sasami, and the chef cook when Tracey enters.)  
Ranma: How's it going?  
Tracey: We've got starving customers at table number eight and I was told that we have a table of eleven with orders. (Sudden realization hits her and she turns to Sasami) What are you doing here?  
Sasami (sheepishly): We are short a little so I came to cook it off.  
Tracey: You aren't the only one. (Glares at Genma then turns back to Sasami) You don't have to work in the kitchen though and besides, you are a little young. (Ukyo opens her mouth to say something but Tracey silences her with a wave of her hand) Yes, I know, you started cooking around when you were five.  
Ukyo: Yeah, but she's a really good cook and we really need more help. (Ukyo hands a platter of food to Ranma who takes it and leaves)  
Shampoo (wearily): Shampoo no want see noodles ever again!  
Tracey (sighing): I'll try to call some more help. If she's as good as you say then I'll pay her if she goes over the price owed. Sound good?  
Sasami: That's great! Ryo-oki go tell Ryoko I'm busy working, okay?  
(Ryo-oki meows and hops off Sasami's head and goes through the door.)  
Ukyo: Oh dear.  
Tracey (surprised): I thought she was a toy.  
Kiyone: Nope, Ryo-oki is anything but.  
Ukyo: Let's hope Ranma doesn't see Ryo-oki, is it?  
Sasami: Yes.  
Shampoo: Airen go Cat if he see cabbit.  
Tracey (smacks her head): Oh no! The Neko-ken!  
Shampoo: Cabbit not all cat though. Maybe okay?  
Tracey: Let's hope. Look, I'll call for more help. Make sure that Ranma doesn't see Ryo-oki!  
(Tracey rushes to her office where Mihoshi and Ein are watching TV)  
Tracey: Mihoshi, where did you get the dog?  
Mihoshi: Ein came in here herself.  
Tracey (in a hurry): Well, keep her out of trouble.  
Mihoshi: 'Kay!  
(Mihoshi keeps watching TV while Tracey calls on the phone. Tenchi's group is talking amongst themselves.)  
Tenchi: I wonder where Sasami is.  
Ryoko: Don't ask me. (Ryo-oki comes bounding up to her and starts meowing)  
Ayeka: What's she saying?  
Ryoko: Sasami is cooking in the kitchen to pay the bill and earn a little extra.  
Tenchi: She shouldn't have to do that.  
Ayeka: I agree. Ryoko should go and help her.  
Ryoko: Huh? Why me?  
Ayeka: Because you ate the most!  
Ryoko: I had the 'All you can eat' for $10.00, not my fault the bills so high. Besides she's your sister. You should help her. (Washu grabs both girls and drags them to Tracey's office where she is just getting off the phone.)  
Tracey: Yes? How may I help you?  
Washu: Hi, I have two waitresses who would like to work for you.  
Ryoko (growling): What's the big idea?  
Washu: Well, I was thinking, how would Tenchi feel? I mean, two grown ladies not taking responsibility when a child younger then them had?  
(Ryoko and Ayeka look at each other)  
Ayeka: I could use some extra cash anyway.  
Ryoko: We'll take the job.  
Tracey: Okay, extra uniforms are over their (points to a room) Report to the kitchen and someone there will help you.  
(Tracey leaves and goes to the table with eleven people, best known as the Sailor Moon group)  
Tracey: Sorry for the delay. You're food will be out shortly. (Tracey leaves while the Sailor Moon group talks)  
Serena: I'm hungry.  
Raye: You're always hungry. Why don't you just go and eat your meatballs?  
Serena: That's not funny! Besides, I can't help it if I'm hungry  
Amy: Really Serena, you ate a snack before we came.  
Serena: But I'm still hungry! (Ranma enters with a tray full of food. Everyone watches hungrily as he nears. Suddenly the food is gone from his tray. Puzzled, they look around. Serena squeals with delight and everyone notices that the food is now on their plates)  
Amara: That was incredible!  
Ranma (shrugging): No big deal. That all?  
Michelle: Yes, thank you. (Ranma saunters off and all the girls except Setsuna, Amara, Hotaru, Michelle, and Reenie begin giggling.)  
Mina: He is sooo cute!  
Lita (dreamily): He reminds me of my old boyfriend.  
Girls (groaning): Lita!  
Luna (from under the table): That smells good.  
Diana: Serena, pass some down here!  
Serena: Hey, you guys are supposta be quiet!  
Artemis: I didn't see you being silent when you were hungry.  
Mina: Here (puts a small plate under the table) Now please keep it down. (Munching noises are heard from under the table)  
Mina: Anyway, back to that hunky waiter… (Hotaru and Reenie giggle)  
Serena (who is busy stuffing her face): You guys have to try this food! It's delic! (continues eating)  
(Others try their food and begin commenting on how good it is. Tracey meanwhile, is by the entrance door talking to Brock.)  
Tracey: So you think you can help Brock?  
Brock: Sure thing! I'll whip up some food in no time!  
Tracey: Thanks Brock. (Tracey leads him to the kitchen and Brock sets off in a cooking frenzy. Shampoo, the Chef, and Ukyo are sitting for a moments rest while Sasami is cooking with Ryo-oki once more on her head. Ryoko and Ayeka are grumbling as they carry food out of the kitchen. Ranma is waiting nearby for the next wave of food.)  
Tracey: Ranma, you can leave now if you want. You're debt is paid in full.  
Ranma: Well…I was wondering…would you pay me if I worked longer?  
Tracey (surprised): Sure, go ahead.  
Shampoo: What airen want money for?  
Ranma (embarrassed and sheepish): Just…uh…for extra spending cash.  
Ukyo: You can't lie to save your life Ranma. What's the money for?  
Ranma: Nothing!  
(Before the girls can pry the information out of Ranma, a waiter interrupts them)  
Waiter: Tracey, we have a problem.  
Tracey (groaning): What now?  
(Tracey follows after the waiter who brings her to Gene and comps table.)  
Waiter: This man is trying to pass off counterfeit bills.  
Tracey: Is that true?  
Gene: No, your planet just doesn't accept Wuu-long bills.  
Tracey (arching an eyebrow): I see (to waiter) Get Kiyone, tell her to come to my office. (to Gene and group) Follow me please. (They walk by Spike and friends table where food is on their plates, but only Ed is eating right now. The others have their eyes on Genes group)  
Faye: Did you see? Is it really her?  
Jett: I don't believe it, Twilight Suzuka.  
Spike: Twilight Suzuka the assassin who's been seen with the Outlaw Star crew. (sips his coffee) There was a large bounty on her head but since she hasn't assassinated anyone for a while the bounties been decreasing.  
Faye: Well?! How much is she worth?  
Jett: Don't know as of now. Must be a few pretty pennies though.  
Faye: I'm not interested in pretty pennies! I want some nice, cold bills!  
Edward: Ed wants to eat now. Eat chaaacccooolllaaate!  
Jett: Why don't we wait till we finish dinner to get her? (Jett glances at the plates. Spikes food had disappeared all of a sudden and both Ed and Faye were scarfing down their food. Jett smiled then followed their suit. Back to Goku and friends table…)  
Goku: I love this restaurant!  
Vegita: Waitress, more food!  
Ryoko: Yeah, yeah. Hold yer horses. (Ryoko picks up the empty plates and Ayeka brings a platter of food)  
Ayeka: How long have you been here eating exactly?  
Gohan (thinking): Um, somewhere a little after sunrise.  
Ryoko/Ayeka: WHAT?!  
Goten: Uh-huh. I remember.  
Ayeka: It's almost noon now!  
Goku: Oh. (takes a moment) Then I guess we'd better finish in time to eat lunch. (Ayeka and Ryoko rush to the kitchen)  
Ryoko: You chefs better go into overdrive! (puts dishes in a pile next to Genma and turns back to the chefs) The guys are still eating!  
Ukyo: Dang. Looks like I lost the bet. I thought they would've been done by now.  
Brock: Don't sit about! Let's get cooking! (Tracey is once more in her office. Gene and company are present along with Mihoshi and Ein)  
Mihoshi: Hi there! How are you?  
Tracey: Mihoshi, you know about the Wuu-long currency, right?  
Mihoshi: Sounds kinda familiar.  
Tracey (sighing): Guess we'll have to wait for Kiyone.  
Jim: I thought this planet didn't know about the Wuu-long currency.  
Tracey: We don't. You aren't the only (pauses to think of a good word) aliens to visit here. (Motions to Mihoshi) She's one and so's Kiyone. Kiyone should be able to help with the problem of money exchange. (Ein goes over to Aisha and begins to sniff at her. Aisha growls and hisses at him in annoyance and Ein scampers behind Mel. Mel kneels down and pets him. While she is doing so, Kiyone enters)  
Kiyone (in a rush): Whatever Mihoshi did I am really sorry!  
Tracey: Actually, Mihoshi hasn't done anything…yet. I need your help to make sure that the bill is paid for correctly. You see, they are paying in Wuu-long.  
Kiyone (relieved): Is that all? (Jim hands her the bill and the money. After a moment Kiyone hands it all to Tracey.)  
Kiyone: It's the correct amount with a nice tip.  
Tracey (nods): Thank you Kiyone. (To group) I hope you enjoyed your meal.  
Suzuka: We will try to stop by next time we're nearby.  
Kiyone (taking a good look at her before exclaiming in surprise): Twilight Suzuka?!  
Suzuka: Hmm?  
Kiyone (brings out gun and badge): Twilight Suzuka you are under arrest. Mihoshi!  
Mihoshi: Huh? Oh, right. (Mihoshi pulls out cuffs) Sorry but I guess I have to cuff you.  
Kiyone: Don't be sorry! She's an assassin!  
Suzuka (draws her bokken): You don't stand a chance against me.  
Kiyone: So, refusing an arrest from a Galactic Police officer?  
Suzuka: If that's what you want to call it.  
Tracey: Please! Not in my office! (Office door bursts open and Spike is seen lowering his foot from the kick.)  
Tracey: The door was unlocked!  
Spike: Yeah, but this was more fun. (Raises his gun at Suzuka while Jett and Faye enter, guns raised, behind him.) We're bounty hunters and there's supposta be a fine bounty on your head.  
Kiyone: We (motions to Mihoshi) are members of the Galactic Police Force and she is ours!  
(Ryoko ghosts through a wall and floats in the air)  
Ryoko: Tracey, you're needed in the kitchen.  
Faye (raises her gun at Ryoko): YOU!  
Ryoko: Huh?  
Faye (through gritted teeth): I remember chasing you! You made a fool of me!  
Gene: That's right! (To Ryoko) You had a nice bounty on your head but I was told you were a big game and the likes of me should hunt for smaller fish.  
Ryoko (conceitedly): I am big game, the kind you two don't stand a chance against.  
Gene/Faye (guns point toward Ryoko): YOU'RE MINE!!  
(Ryoko's battle clothing appears on her and her red energy sword forms in her hand)  
Tracey (yells): HOLD IT! (Everyone looks at her in surprise)  
Tracey: We are not doing this in my office. In fact, we are not going to do this at all. (Points to Ryoko) She is my waitress. You cannot shoot her. (Points to Suzuka) She is a customer. You cannot shoot her. And none of you except Kiyone and Mihoshi should have guns in my restaurant! Do you understand?! (Everyone slowly nods and lower their weapons)  
Tracey: Good, now- (Tracey is interrupted by Ayeka who makes her way past Spike, Faye, and Jett)  
Ayeka: Tracey, we need you now!  
Tracey (sighing in frustration): Coming! (Tracey, Ayeka, and Ein rush out of the office. Everyone stands still a moment before all weapons are drawn.)  
Mihoshi: Um, weren't you listening? She said not to-  
Kiyone (still keeping her eyes, and gun, on Suzuka): Mihoshi, this could mean a promotion!  
Ryoko: I haven't had a good fight in a while.  
Gene: Let's do it then.  
Spike: Yeah. (Thus, all begin firing their weapons. Suzuka uses her bokken to deflect Kiyone, Mihoshi, Spike, and Jett's bullets while Ryoko uses her energy sword to deflect Faye and Genes bullets. Aisha, Mel, and Jim are taking cover behind Tracey's desk while the others go at it. Back at the kitchen; Ukyo, Shampoo, Sasami, Brock, and the Chef are all standing around doing nothing. Tracey, Ayeka, and Ein enter)  
Tracey: What's going on?  
Shampoo: No more food.  
Tracey: WHAT?! I ordered a month's worth of supplies!  
Shampoo (shrugs): Is gone. (Tracey groans and Ranma enters, once more with dirty dishes in his hands)  
Ranma: You guys won't believe it!  
Tracey: What now?  
Ranma: The guys at table 4 finally stopped eating!  
Ukyo: What time is it?  
Sasami: About noon, I think.  
Shampoo: Who eat most?  
Ranma: I think it was Goku.  
Shampoo (jumping up and down): Aiah! Shampoo won bet!  
(Ein barks happily and startles Shampoo who spills a nearby pitcher of water on herself. She instantly becomes a purple cat.)  
Sasami: Awww! How cute!  
(Ranma, however, is staring in wide-eyed horror at Shampoo-cat. Ein, seeing the cat, growled and raced after her. The both rush out of the kitchen)  
Tracey: Oh no! Ukyo take care of Ranma; Sasami, Brock, help me catch the Shampoo and Ein. Chef, I need some hot water in teakettles. Ayeka, please check to see if my office is in once piece. (Serena and friends are sitting at their table. All plates are cleared except for an occasional food item)  
Serena: Boy was that good!  
Reenie: I never ate anything so yummy! (Shampoo-cat rushes under the table with Ein on her tail. Luna, Artemis, Diana, and Shampoo-cat erupt from underneath the table along with Ein who is barking at them. Tracey, Brock, and Sasami quickly chase after them and Serena's group quickly gets up to help.)  
Tracey (taken aback): Where did the other cats come from? (The cats split off and Ein continues after Luna. The other three quickly run and hide while Luna runs to Goku and comps table. She leaps up on the table then onto Vegita's head.)  
Vegita (startled and surprised): What the?!  
(Vegita reaches for Luna but Ein hops on the table after her. She jumps off Vegita's head and runs under the table. Goten is laughing and follows under after her while Ein gets down off the table and hurries after her as well. Goku is laughing his head off and Vegita angrily challenges him to a battle. Goku refuses but Vegita begins to attack anyway. Goku blocks all of Vegita's attacks while Vegita gets angrier and faster. Trunks watches the fight and cheers for his dad while Gohan goes to help chase after Luna. Edward is sitting a top a table holding a big bowl of chocolate pudding and is happily eating it when Luna hops on and off Ed's head. Ed glances around in confusion until Ein runs atop the table and knocks the bowl in the air. Ed tries to catch it but Goten runs into her and the pudding falls on both of them. They begin to argue about whose fault it is and while that goes on an explosion is heard from Tracy's office. World War III has obviously broken out and the room is a mess. Scorch marks from laser guns, bullet holes, bokken marks, and energy blast holes cover the area. Ayeka is yelling for everyone to stop and has her forcefield up to protect herself. Everyone is ignoring her so she summons Azaka and Kamadake who begin blasting at everyone. This proves to be more of a problem then a solution because even bigger holes are appearing in the walls. Back in the kitchen, Ukyo is trying to calm Ranma. Artemis and Diana rush through the door and cling onto Ranma. He begins screaming and running around trying to shake off the cats. He then stops screaming and gets on all fours, meowing. Ukyo quickly rushes to the phone and the cats run from Ranma who leaves the kitchen. Ranma-neko races through the chaos of the dining area and into the war at Tracey's office. A bullet cuts through his clothes and enrages him. Hissing, Ranma-neko begins slashing up everything. Tracey's desk gets shredded, the guns are sliced, and the swords lay in ribbons. Azaka and Kamadake have long claw marks on them but are otherwise in tact unlike Ayeka's shield, which shattered. Ranma-neko hisses again and everyone ran out of the office with Ranma after them. They all run by Goku and Vegita who are still fighting and continue past Tracey.)  
Tracey (seeing Ranma-neko): Oh Jeez! Someone get some cold water!  
(Ukyo rushes out with a bucket and a teakettle but when she tries to splash the cold water on Ranma he evades it in a playful manner and races away. Tracey is standing, hands clutched to her side in anger.)  
Tracey: STOP!! (Everyone stops running except Ein, Luna, and Ranma-neko. Vegita even stops his fighting to see what is going on)  
Tracey: Okay, girls catch cats and the dog while guys grab cold water to pour on Ranma.  
Spike: I'm not going near that crazy guy!  
Goku (cheerily): Aww, loosen up. This might be fun.  
Vegita (snottily): Why should I help? I'm a prince. It's below me to do such a menial task.  
Ayeka: Well, I am a princess and if we don't stop him someone could get hurt! Just go see what he did to Tracey's office!  
Tracey (moaning): My office!  
Ryoko: Don't worry about it. The shred marks are nothing compared to the bullet holes and sword marks. (Tracey groans again)  
Sasami: Ryoko, you're not helping!  
Tracey (getting even more ticked off): Look, guys get the cold water to pour over Ranma. Watch out though, he's thinking as a cat. A powerful, dangerous cat! Pouring cold water over him will cure him (Tracey winces) but bring up another slight problem. Anyway, we have to get the cats hidden before Ranma gets cured.  
Faye: But the bounty-  
Kiyone: My promotion-  
Tracey (roaring): DO IT NOW!!! (Everyone gulps and hurriedly sets to their jobs. Soon Artemis and Diana have been found although Ein, Luna, and Shampoo are still loose. Ranma- neko hasn't been spotted yet. Vegita opens a closet, bucket in hand, while the others look around. When he opens the closet, Ranma leaps at him and Vegita finds his shirt in shreds.)  
Vegita (snarls): Why you! (Vegita fires an energy blast but Ranma-neko dodges. He races off with Vegita after him. Brock throws a Pokeball and lets out Onix. The large rock snakes head touches near the ceiling and it roars loudly)  
Brock: Onix, use wrap! (Onix makes a grab for Ranma-neko with his tail but Ranma-neko swipes at him and slash marks appear on Onix's face. Howling in pain, Onix tries again only to find more slash marks on it' midsection. While Ranma fights Onix, Vegita prepares to use an energy blast on Ranma. Goku steps between Vegita and Ranma)  
Goku: What do you think you're doing?  
Vegita (angrily): Solving the problem, what did you think? Now move!  
Goku: The manager said to use cold water!  
Vegita: Why use a feather when a rock will do just as good?  
Darien (who is in hearing distance, groans): You're as bad at quotes as Mina!  
Vegita (yelling): Did I ask for your opinion?!  
Goku: Actually, I think he's right. You have it mixed up.  
(While the two are debating, Ranma-neko had beaten Brock's Onix and Brock was forced to return him.)  
Brock: Quick! Splash him! (Jett and Gene come up on both sides of Ranma-neko and throw cold water at him. Ranma jumps though and both end up splashing each other. Ed, Reenie, Sasami, Hotaru, and Goten were giggling hysterically at the two while Trunks watches on with slight amusement)  
Jett (wet and irritated): Ed, why don't you help?  
Edward (waving merrily): Ed is busy now! Try later! (Jett sighs and makes a leap for Ranma-neko who jumps over him. Mina, Faye, Serena, and Kiyone run by chasing after Ein who is having a blast. Soon the girls have to stop and catch their breath)  
Faye (panting): I am liking that dog less and less…  
Serena (breathing hard): Who'd have thought that a small dog could be so fast?  
(Tracey, Lita, Bulma, Aisha, and Ryoko sneak up behind Ein but when the jump to grab him he races away again. This leaves the girls in a heap which causes more laughter from the kids and even Trunks is smiling)  
Tracey (to kids): I don't see you helping!  
Reenie: This is too much fun to watch.  
Trunks: If we videotape it do you think we could win a funnies home video prize?  
(By now, all the guys have encircled Ranma-neko and are getting ready with their buckets)  
Darien: On the count of 3…  
Goku: 1…  
Tenchi: 2…  
Jett: 3! (All of them throw the water at once and instantly become sopping wet)  
Jim: Did we get him?  
(The children are once more laughing)  
Gene: What's so funny?! (Goten points to the ceiling before falling over from laughter. The men look up and groan. Ranma had somehow jumped above the water and now had his hands imbedded in the ceiling)  
Spike: Well, how do we get him down? (Goku floats up to get Ranma down but he never gets a chance. Ranma let go when Goku got close enough and landed on his feet. He began running as soon as his feet hit the ground and all the guys go rushing after him. Their shirts become shredded for their troubles. Ein comes rushing by again with all the girls behind him)  
Setsuna: Where does this dog get all this energy?  
Washu: To make a long, scientific answer shorter; he's a dog!  
Amara: I was the fastest on the track team and I haven't gotten anywhere closet to him. (A wall breaks and a lost looking guy steps though)  
Ryoga (yelling): Where on earth am I?  
Ukyo (angry): Shut up and help us catch Ranchan, he's gone cat!  
Ryoga (noticing the state of the room): What's going on here? (Suddenly Michelle screams as a small man latches onto her)  
Happosai: Sweeto!  
Ayeka: HOW DARE YOU!?! (Ayeka's energy logs appear and Michelle throws him at them. Happosai gets shocked but recovers quickly and hops after another girl)  
Ukyo: Get away pervert! (She throws her mini spatulas but Happosai easily deflects them. Now the guys become more interested in Happosai than Ranma-neko. All the guy's weapons are drawn. Tenchi with his sword; Spike, Gene, and Jett bring out another gun; Goku, Vegita, and Gohan get ready to beat him with their bare hands; Brock releases his Geodude and prepares to fight. Bulma picks this time to enter the dining area with Shampoo-cat)  
Bulma: What's going on? (Happosai leaps at her but a tiara strikes him down.)  
Happosai (angrily): Who dares?!  
(Sailor Scouts step forward)  
Sailor Mars: We will not have you torment young women.  
Sailor Jupiter: We are the defenders of all the pure-  
Sailor Venus: -and honorable people-  
Sailor Mercury: -on this planet-  
Sailor Uranus: You're terrorizing ends here and now!  
Sailor Neptune: For all those you've tormented,  
Sailor Pluto: For all those you've attacked,  
Sailor Saturn: For all those you've harmed,  
Sailor Moon: In the name of the Moon-  
Sailor Mini Moon: -and future Moon-  
All Sailor Scouts (do poses): We shall punish you!  
Happosai (not the least bit scared, infact, he's thrilled): MINI SKIRTS!! (Happosai charges at them and the Scouts shriek and try to escape. Ever so often one would fire an attack but nothing seemed to hit him. The guys and Ryoko, Ayeka, Aisha, Suzuka , Kiyone, Mihoshi, Faye, Shampoo, Ukyo and even Ranma-neko get into the action Pretty soon energy blasts are going off along with the Sailor's attacks, guns were being fired, and, occasionally, a new claw or sword mark would be engraved on the floor or walls.)  
Ryoko (flying in the air near Goku): How do we catch him?  
Goku (amazed): He's so fast!  
Tenchi (calling to Washu): Washu, don't you know what to do?!  
Washu (frustrated): Arg! None of my inventions are fast or strong enough to get him! (Happosai all of a sudden lunges at Mel)  
Mel (shrieks): Someone please catch him! (No one gets near enough to stop him but all of a sudden he is lying on the floor with a bump on his head and roses encircling him. A force field is around Mel.)  
Ayeka: Take that! That forcefield should keep out the likes of you! (Tuxedo Mask steps forward from the shadows)  
Tux. Mask: Such an old man terrorizing girls, it's disgusting! You will be stopped!  
Happosai (turns and glares at them evilly): So, you think a little girl with a forcefield can stop me? As for these flowers, Ha! You'll need more than that! Take this now, HAPPO FIRE BURST! (He throws a round, white bandaged thing in the middle of the room. It explodes and smoke fills the area where it was. When the smoke clears and Ayeka's guardians are standing in front of her. They are darkened but otherwise okay)  
Ayeka: GET HIM!!  
(Once more the frenzy begins, this time Ryo-oki, Luna, Artemis, and Diana join in the fight against Happosai. Nothing seems to be working though and Happosai is now throwing more Happo Fire Bursts although these ones have less smoke. Akane enters the room and stares in surprise at the chaos. Ukyo spots her)  
Ukyo: Akane, give us a hand!  
Akane: Where is Ranma?  
Ukyo: Somewhere in the fight. He's gone Neko-ken. (Happosai spots Akane and rushes for her)  
Happosai (arms outstretched): Akane my love! (Akane kicks him in mid-leap. He goes flying through the roof. All stare at her in amazement)  
Bulma: One kick was all he needed?  
Tenchi: You should sign up for the NFL!  
Akane: Can you guys hide the cats?  
Tracey: We have to catch the dog first. (Ein, who had been in the kitchen while the fight took place, emerged from behind the door and wagged his tail.)  
Edward (whistles): Ein! (Ein obediently comes to her)  
Edward: Ein stay here with Ed, 'kay? No more cat chasing for today. (Ein sits near her)  
Ayeka: You mean-  
Faye:-all that time-  
Ukyo: -you could've whistle-  
Aisha (angrily):- and didn't! WHY ON EARTH DIDN'T YOU DO THAT BEFORE!  
Ed (happily): You no ask Ed to. (Every adult groans except for Mel who is laughing with the kids)  
Akane (suddenly): Here kitty, kitty! (Ranma-neko comes running toward her)  
Goku: Look out!  
Spike: He's –(Spike trails off as Ranma-neko begins to rub against Akane's legs) dangerous.  
Akane (to Ranma): Good Kitty. (Casually to the group) Anyone have cold water? (Ukyo rushes off the kitchen while Akane pets Ranma-neko. Ukyo hurries out with the cold water and a kettle of hot water.)  
Akane: Shampoo, you'd better hide in the kitchen unless you want Ranma to stay like this. (Shampoo-cat squirms out of Bulma's grip and onto the floor. Luna, Artemis, and Diana follow after Shampoo as fast as they can while Ryo-oki hops back on Sasami's head)  
Akane: All right Ukyo, splash him. (Ukyo pours the cold water over Ranma-neko and he becomes a she. His black hair turns red and she glances around.)  
Ranma-chan (female voice): What's going on?  
Akane (angrily): You and you're dad ran off as soon as you heard I was cooking! (Ranma-chan laughs nervously as Ukyo pours the hot water on her and Ranma- chan becomes a he again)  
Washu: Incredible! I've got so much new data to add! The Legendary Neko-ken! To think I saw it! (To Ranma) You must have visited the Jusenkyo Springs, right? Or did you get cursed some other way?  
Ranma (nervously): Jusenkyo, why?  
Washu (laughs evilly): This calls for experimentation!  
Goku (thoughtfully): 'Neko-ken'? Is that what that technique is called? Maybe I should learn…  
Everyone: NO!!  
Goku (laughs): I was just joking!  
Ryoga (yelling): That is not something you joke about!  
Tracey (gloomily): So much for my restaurant. (Everyone finally notices the poor state it's in. Claw and sword marks, broken boards from punches, energy scorches, not to mention the hole in the ceiling…)  
Kiyone (sighs): So much for this job.  
Mihoshi: But I like working here!  
Spike: Yeah, it was an okay restaurant.  
Edward: Ed liked chocolate pudding!  
Gene (cheerily): Just fix it up again.  
Jim: Do you have any idea how much it would cost? Wood, paint…not to mention, what insurance company in their right mind would believe her story.  
Sailor Moon: He's right. Better off selling it for firewood.  
Goku: Hey Bulma, can't you do something?  
Bulma: Me?  
Goku: Well, you're really smart right? You could figure something out.  
Washu: Leave it to me! I'm the greatest scientist in all the universe.  
Bulma: Says who?! (The two girls go at it and begin to get into a heated argument about Tracey's best options)  
Goten: Hey Dad?  
Goku: Yeah?  
Goten: I'm hungry. (Everyone turns to stare at him except Bulma, Vegita, Trunks, and Gohan.)  
Tracey: You cannot be serious. A month's worth of food is gone and 5/6ths of it went to your table alone!  
Goku: Well, I'm kinda hungry too.  
Ryoko: Unbelievable. They eat as much as you Ayeka.  
Ayeka: How dare you! I don't eat that much! (Those two begin bickering)  
Vegita: Kakorot, you and I still have to settle our food-eating contest.  
Goku (puzzled): I thought I won.  
Vegita (mad): They ran out of food so I couldn't order any more! (Those two begin to discuss plans for another food eating contest)  
Kiyone (to Suzuka): At least I can take you in!  
Suzuka (as a gong is sounded): You're to late.  
Jett: What do you mean to late? (Another gong)  
Suzuka: My bounties and charges are dropped at twelve o'clock (gong) today.  
Faye: I'll take you down then Ryoko. (gong)  
Ryoko (turns away from Ayeka for a moment): Sorry, my bounties been gone since I got pardoned. (gong) Ask Miss Prissy Pants. (gong)  
Ayeka (fuming): Unfortunately, this shriveled up old mummy is right. (gong)  
Faye (depressed): No bounty…again? (gong)  
Akane (pulls mallet out from hammerspace): I'm going to get you for (gong) running out on my cooking Ranma! (gong)  
Ranma: Akane! Wait! (gong)  
Akane (not listening): BAKA! (hits Ranma like a golf ball as the last gong sounds and sends him flying through the roof, creating another hole)  
Ukyo: Akane, honey, that's not helping Tracey.  
Akane (stubbornly): It helped me.  
Tracey (wearily): Look, those who need to pay, pay. My waiters and waitresses abandoned when the fights broke out so I'll take care of it. You guys can go; I'll worry about my restaurant.  
Goku (breaks off talking to Vegita): We all helped break it, we should all help fix it.  
(Washu and Bulma stop fighting)  
Washu: You'd need lots of money.  
Bulma: I got that covered.  
Brock (Geodude is near him): We can fix this up, no problem. (turns to Sailor Scouts and blushes red) Hi, my name's Brock. Any of you young ladies wanna go on a date with me? (Misty appears out of nowhere and drags him away by the ear.)  
Misty: You might be able to fix this problem but who is going to fix yours? (Misty drags Brock out of the restaurant by the ear and Geodude follows them)  
Edward: Ed want help! Ed do electronics, wires, and compuuuters!  
Spike: Ed, you'd fry yourself.  
Faye (thoughtfully): It would make for an interesting show.  
Washu: I'll help Ed.  
Tenchi (begging): Washu, please don't try to upgrade anything!  
Washu (pouting): Ruin my fun.  
Gohan: Dad and I can patch the holes and things.  
Ryoga: I can carry supplies around.  
Jim: I can help find bargains on supplies.  
Aisha: I'll help pick out the food!  
Gene: If you pick out the food then all she'll have is seafood.  
Mel: I can go with her.  
Sailor Venus: I can help decorate.  
Sailor Jupiter: Me too.  
Sailor Mini Moon: I can make refreshments and Sailor Saturn can help me.  
Sailor Moon: I'll help with the food!  
Tux. Mask: Maybe you should help decorate?  
(Sailor Jupiter and Venus begin shaking their heads behind Sailor Moons back)  
Sailor Mars: Are you kidding? She'd knock something over or spill something.  
Sailor Moon (defensively): I would not! I'm still going to cook though.  
Sailor Mini Moon: You'd better not eat any of my food!  
Sailor Moon (snobbishly): I'm not going to eat your food! I'm going to cook my own!  
Akane: I'll help too!  
Ukyo (moves nearby to Sailor Mars and whispers): Please tell me Sailor Moon can cook.  
Sailor Mars: She can (Ukyo sighs with relief) it just tastes really bad.  
Ukyo (groans): Akane's the same.  
Ryoko: I'll make Tenchi something great to eat!  
Ayeka: I'm going to keep an eye on you!  
Tracey: We're out of food though.  
Akane: Shopping time! (Sailor Moon, Sailor Mini Moon, Ryoko, Ayeka, and Akane exit the restaurant)  
Ukyo (to Tenchi): Can they cook?  
Tenchi: It's never edible.  
Goku: It can't be that bad.  
Ranma (re-entering): Akane's is.  
Tracey (surprised): How'd you get back here so fast?  
Ranma: I ran. Anyway (Ranma tosses Goku a small pouch that he pulled from his pocket) those are Akane's cookies. Try one if you dare. (Goku shrugs and pulls one out. After chewing awhile he smiles)  
Goku: These are great! (Everyone tries one. Soon all faces except Ryoga's and Goku's are blue)  
Tenchi: It's just like Ryoko and Ayeka's cooking!  
Sailor Mercury: It's worse than Sailor Moons!  
Tracey (gasps): That's horrid! I am never hiring them to cook!  
Ranma (to Goku): I thought you said they were great?!  
Goku (still eating them): They are.  
Spike: They're cooking's worse than mine.  
Ed (wailing as she trashes around on the floor): Ed's mouth hurts!  
Goten (making a face as he clutches his throat): Yucky-yucky- yucky!  
Ryoga: You guys just have no sense of taste.  
Ranma: Says you P-chan. (Ryoga hits Ranma on the head) Let's split before they return and find go find something edible.  
Sailor Pluto: I agree. Never in my lifetime have I tasted anything so awful!  
(All quickly get out of the restaurant. Shampoo, human now, exits the kitchen door and the other cats follow out of the restaurant. Back in the kitchen, there are stacks and stacks of dirty dishes covering the shelves and the floor. Genma is still there cleaning them.)  
Genma (moaning): Why me? (He continues cleaning and the image suddenly changes. We once more see the hooded figure standing now in a brightly colored area.)  
  
Figure: Much better wouldn't you say? Is that the end? Of course it is! Tell a little more, hmm? Very well then.  
Tracey's restaurant was rebuilt to be better than ever and every once in a while her friends would stop by and tell her of their news.  
Gene and the Outlaw Star crew have set out once more in search of a way to make it rich; Spike and the Bebop gang are still looking for another bounty to claim; the Sailor Scouts still fight for love and justice in those ridicules mini skirts; Goku and friends still train; Tenchi gets fought over by Ayeka and Ryoko; and Ranma is still a trouble magnet being fought over and beat up by crazy women.  
Oh, which reminds me, for those of you who are wondering, it seems Ranma needed the extra money to by Akane a Birthday gift. He got her a book titled, 'Cooking for Dummies'. Needless to say, Ranma joined Happosai in the Stratosphere.  
Ryoga's lost and not even I can pick up him. As for Brock and Misty, they are still traveling with Ash as far as I know. Tracey is happy with her restaurant and learned a lesson, 'Never offer a $10.00 all you can eat' special. But, then again, nothing interesting would've happened if she didn't.  
Lastly, for those of you who'd like to know, Genma is still cleaning dishes at the restaurant.  
So, if you want a nice, peaceful day off to relax and eat a nice meal; don't go to Tracey's restaurant, the Konran. Stick to McDonalds or Burger King., unless you're looking for adventure or trouble. Till the next disaster then (He turns when he feels a tap on his shoulder)what?  
Ryoga: 'Scuse me sir, do you know how to get to Nerima?  
Figure (startled): How in Kami's name did you get here?  
Ryoga: I followed the yellow brick road and took a right at Never-never land.  
Figure: You aren't supposta be here! No mortal is! (Grabs Ryoga's arm) Let's go. (Nods to reader) I hope you enjoyed the story, I'm afraid I must leave now. What? My name? You haven't guessed? (smirks) I am Iwakume-ka, the storyteller and story keeper. The emptiness now filled? That'd be a hole in the archive which needed filling, one more story. Anyway, keep your eye out for me, friend, I may appear again. Farewell! (And where the Iwakume-ka and Ryoga once stood is nothing but a cloud of fine, glittering gold dust, slowly drifting down.) 


End file.
